Notes From A Vampire
by InfinitelyAlive
Summary: What would you do if the love of your life was holding you at arms length. If every night he was in your grasp, in your arms. Then the next day...A dream. A whisper of the vampire you held not twelve hours ago.
1. Notes From A Vampire

BPOV

Today is the day. After weeks of staring, fainting, and good old fashioned gawking. I'm finally ready to take the next step. Let's just hope I won't be disappointed.

As I pulled into the schools parking lot, I tried my best not to search out his shiny silver Volvo. I begged my eyes not to look up as I stepped out of my truck to meet his disinterested face.

I knew that if we were to repeat our normal morning routine I would never have the nerve to do what I needed to do today. So I stayed strong, I kept my eyes on my feet, and thought only about the first step of my plan as I made my way to homeroom.

My homeroom teacher also happened to my English teacher. In whose class I had the highest grade. This allotted me certain privileges in her class, like using her backroom to study since she was always late, and the other students in her morning class are a bunch of idiots.

I snuck into her backroom before most of the other students had arrived and got to work. First I pulled out the little piece of paper that started it all.

Bella,

Please do not be frightened or off put my contacting you in this manner. I am readily aware of how very rude my behavior towards you has been. I wanted to offer my sincerest of apologize as well as informally introduce myself. My name is Edward Cullen. It is unfortunate that we cannot formally meet. But it would be an auspicious endeavor for the both of us, if you would agree to my conditions.

First, please do not ever approach me. You would not be pleased with the end results.

Second, I would like to continue to write you. I want to be able to ask you questions, that you must agree to answer. In return I will answer one question you may have for me. I will let you know when you've earned these questions.

Third, if you agree, I will place each of your letters in your backpack between homeroom and first period. Please never doubt that I am capable of doing so, and never ask me how I am doing this.

Forth, you may leave your return letters for me in the small pocket in the front of your backpack. I will retrieve it when necessary.

If you agree to my terms, please write 'I do.' On a small piece of paper and leave it in your car on the seat before school tomorrow.

I look forward to getting to know you Bella. You have bewitched me…

Sincerely,

Edward Cullen

Every time I re read those words my body reacts in the strangest ways. I used to blame the goose bumps on the inevitably cold forks weather. But I've come to terms with my obsession.

After I gained the courage needed from reading his first ever letter to me, I moved forward with my plan to make the first move today.

We have been exchanging letters for over a week now, and he's asked me nothing but these simple questions. How do you like forks? Why did you move here? Do you miss your mother? Are you happy with your father? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite novel? Who is your favorite author?

Boring questions…and worse boring answers. I hadn't figured out why he wanted to know all these things, until yesterday's question.

Are you sleeping alright?

This question seemingly innocent proved the one thing that was keeping me from approaching him. He is drawn to me as strongly as I am to him.

Since the very first night I received his letter, I haven't had a single restful night's sleep. I would be kept awake by images, brief flashes of awareness. His eyes watching me from behind a locker, his hands disappearing around a corner. Haunting me, preventing my brain from shutting off.

The night before he asked me about my sleeping habits, I had finally fallen asleep after releasing some pressure by sketching his immaculate features. Only to be awoken by what I was certain to be a freezing cold hand cupping my face, but when I opened my eyes there was no one there. However, I noticed a breeze and realized my bedroom window was open. This was impossible because due to Forks' reliably disgusting weather, I had yet to open it even once.

Now that I've thoroughly convinced myself that my logic is sound. I made my way down the halls with my first question in hand.

Can I touch you?

These words may seem a bit provocative coming from a seventeen year old girl, but my intentions are purely scientific.

As I turned the corner by his homeroom the first bell rang. As I was expecting, Edward was the first to exit his class. As our eyes met in the empty hall, it was clear that he had not been expecting to see me. In partial accordance to his rule, I walked towards him, stopping approximately three feet away. I figured this wasn't approaching him. Technically. I held out my hand with my note enclosed. His eyes had yet to leave mine.

I was starting to think that I had upset him and he was going to walk without taking it, and perhaps never leave one for me again. I am breaking his rules after all.

After a few more seconds that felt like ages, other students started to exit his class room, and to seem inconspicuous, I'm assuming of course. He approached me, taking the last few steps until he was standing directly in front of me.

He finally broke eye contact to look down at my hand.

"So what do we have here?" He sounded sarcastic. But I could have sworn I saw a brief flash of fear behind his eyes.

It took me a moment longer to respond than I would have liked. His eye's seemed to dazzle me into incoherency.

"It's my turn." I finally managed to squeak out. At least I was able to keep eye contact.

He took another half a step towards me, I was confused. But then he raised his hand to my face, and lightly brushed the back of his hand across my cheek. Starting at the highest point under my eye, and slowly brushing inward towards my lips. He removed his hand just as his finger came into contact with the corner of my mouth. I inhaled sharply in shock at the loss of his touch.

And then he was gone…

I stared off down the hall trying to pick out his unruly bronze colored hair over the heads of our fellow classmates. I was unsuccessful.

The rest of the day dragged on incredibly slow. I was unable to focus in any of my classes, wondering when if at all I would be receiving a note from him today. Terrified that I ruined our little game, and that touch had been his way of saying good bye.

When the last bell rang, I couldn't decide if I wanted to rejoice or sob. I walked slowly and dejectedly to my truck. Not sure how I was to survive an entire weekend without knowing. Knowing, did I really know anything about Edward at this point.

I started to think about all the things I knew about Edward. I quickly realized that this boy, was more like a dream than a reality. I had no idea what any of the things I did know meant, but I knew what my next question was going to be. If I ever got another chance to ask one.

I hopped in my truck, and was about to start it up when I realized a white piece of paper resting on my passenger seat. I quickly unfolded it and prayed to the heavens that I would see his familiar script inside.

Can I touch you?

I nearly fainted when I read his words. Hadn't he been the one to touch me in the hall? I was more confused than ever now. I quickly scribbled down my response and placed the note in the small pocket in the front of my backpack.

There was nothing else to do now, but go home, and wait.

* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

I can't believe that she approached me. After everything I've done to prevent it. What could have changed?

Oh no...

She must know. She must have felt me touch her cheek. I knew I had awakened her, but I never thought she would have figured it out.

Now what do I do? Where do we go from here? I shouldn't have touched her in the hallway, but I had quickly read her note for me and couldn't contain myself. If there hadn't been so many children around I probably would have ravished her. Luckily I was able to brush her cheek and walk away.

I have to talk to her again. What if I've frightened her away. I was so afraid when she started to approach me in the hall that she wanted it to end. That she was done playing my game, being whatever we were.

Now I almost wish she had. What can I even begin to say to this beautiful creature? She wouldn't understand. I don't even understand. After years of being on my own, decades of knowing why. Being able to hear the thoughts of any creature vampire and human alike. Id once found solace in my inability to relate to there thoughts. Until Bella. Until her silence, I never thought I'd ever feel anything new ever again. I never thought I'd find anyone who could make me feel.

I need to see her again. I need to touch her again. To here her voice. I spend all day listening to her moments of vocalization through the immature thoughts of our fellow student body. It's never enough. The only time I feel even remotely content anymore is at night in her room. Listening to her talk. Talk about me. About us, about her hopes, desires.

She's literally sent me running from her explicit requests. I'm not strong enough to avoid her any longer.

Tonight is the night, Tonight I will formally introduce myself to Bella Swan.


	2. Love Of A Vampire

Chapter 2

BPOV

By the time I got home I wasn't paying attention to where I was going or what I was doing. Before I knew it Charlie was home. The sound of the front door slamming shook me out of my revere enough to notice I had already started to prepare dinner, and a quick look over my shoulder confirmed I had already completed my homework.

How I had managed to do all this without a functioning brain, I'll never know.

"Hey Bells, that you in kitchen?" Charlie always asks this question as he takes the three steps from the front door to the entrance of the kitchen.

"Yea Dad. It's me. I'm just finishing up dinner." I looked down to realize that I had been making spaghetti, and it was indeed done.

I served us both up some plates, and entered a comfortable silence as we ate side by side. When I had finished eating I helped Charlie to a second serving, and excused myself upstairs. Once I got to my bedroom I considered taking the note out of my backpack and placing it on my window seal. Hoping I could stay up long enough to watch it magically disappear right before my eyes. Or even better, catch a glimpse of the boy I can't seem to keep out of my mind.

I decided that these ideas where far too delusional for my rational mind, and opted for a shower instead.

I grabbed my toiletries and went to the bathroom. I removed my clothes and stepped in front of the mirror. I tried to imagine Edward standing next to me, but his image was corrupted by my plain, indifferent features. How could anything so beautiful and plain co-exist?

I sighed and hopped into the shower, trying to wash away my doubts and insecurities. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, it caused me to jump and I slipped and hit my head on the edge of the tub. It was then I heard Charlie's voice through the door.

"Bella, I just got a call from the station. There's a little emergency, I've got to go back to the station. I may not be back until morning. Call me at my work number if you need anything. "He hesitated behind the door for a response; I could hear him jingling his keys,

"Alright dad. Be Safe." My head was woozy; my voice sounded like it was coming through a filter.

I stayed on the floor of the shower, and brought my knees up to my chest. I crossed my arms over my knees and attempted to rest my head, but I felt a sting and immediately began to smell the blood. I closed my eyes tighter and started breathing through my mouth. I reached my hand up to my forehead to try to assess that damage. But pulled away as soon as I felt the gash. It seemed small, but even with the warm water running over me; I could feel the warm fluid rushing out if it.

I tried to stand up, slowly gripping the edges of the tub. When I finally felt confident that I was in a stable standing position I turned my head under the faucet and attempted to wash the blood from the wound. I opened my eyes and steadied myself long enough to finish my shower.

After I had maneuvered my way out of the shower and into a towel, I took one more deep breath through my mouth before confronting the mirror. I almost laughed at my idiotic behavior when I saw how tiny the gash was. It was no longer then the end of a pencil eraser. It had stopped bleeding, so I assumed I was in the clear. My head was feeling less woozy by the second, I was sure no damage was done.

I brushed my teeth, and my hair. I had left my pajamas in my bedroom in all the excitement of Edward, so I reached to open the door to head back, When I heard a noise, or a thump rather. It sounded like it came from my bedroom, but I couldn't be sure. People weren't often in my room while I was in the bathroom. I hesitated for just a moment, but decided that it must just be this old house.

I opened the door, and was nearly knocked off my feet again by the vision in front of me.

There before me, stood Edward. Dripping wet, and angry. No that wasn't an accurate description. His face was hard and his eyes were fierce. He looked frightened and . . . Conflicted. He looked as if he was looking passed me, through me. Not making eye contact. I felt as if I should be afraid, or at least upset. But all I could think was 'He's here!'

It was then I understood. He was looking at my forehead, the gash. I slowly raised my hand to cover it. But he shocked me again my reaching out to stop me. He grabbed my hand and lowered it between us. I inhaled sharply, recognizing that I had been holding my breath for quite some time.

"Bella…" His eyes softened slightly, as he took another step closer to me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here. But I heard you fall. And then your father left. You sounded fine, but I couldn't be sure. Then I smelled the blood, and I . . . I just . . ." He sighed and leaned his head fractionally closer to mine. "I just needed to know that were safe."

He leaned in closer until I was sure he was going to kiss me. I closed my eyes and tried to prepare myself for the onslaught of emotion I could already feel bubbling up inside of me. I felt his lips and it was amazing. It took me moment to even comprehend that he was kissing my forehead and not my mouth. He pulled away and I opened my eyes to see the look on his face. I wanted to know if this had meant anything.

I watched as he closed his eyes and slowly licked his lips. It was then I figured out he had not just kissed my forehead, but the gash. He opened his eyes and I was lost in the warm honey color I had fallen in love with at first sight.

"Bella, come." He reached out and took my hand to lead me to my bedroom. I followed without question. He led me to my bed and took a seat at the end in front of me.

"Sit." He patted my comforter next to him. I started to gather my wits, and decided that I would like to be dressed for whatever conversation was to take place tonight. I don't believe I could control myself otherwise.

"If you don't mind I'd like to get dressed." I started into his eyes hesitantly. Almost hoping for an opposition.

"As you wish." He stayed completely still, making no sign to move. I gawked momentarily thinking this was completely inappropriate. Then I quickly decided it was clearly a misunderstanding, once I began to undress he would look away.

I retrieved my pajamas from there drawers and walked to the side of my bed so I was standing slightly behind Edward. I began to remove my towel and again noticed that he had no intention of looking away.

"You might as well watch if you're just going to sit there." I intended to sound sarcastic, but it sounded more pathetic to my ears.

"I can see just fine from here thank you." I saw the corner of his mouth twitch up as he said this and instead of feeling ashamed I found myself wishing my body wasn't so plain. That I could be proud of what he clearly had interest in viewing.

I gathered up all the courage I had and dropped the towel at my feet. I reached for my articles of clothing very slowly and carefully not wanting to make a fool of myself. I slid on my sweats, and raised my arms above my head to pull on my old paramour t-shirt when I heard a low growling sound. I peeked under my arm and saw that Edward was standing in front of me again, and that the growling sound was rumbling out of his chest.

"My answer was yes…" I have no idea where that confidence came from, but I knew that I wanted him to touch me. More than anything I needed the feel of his skin against mine. His eyes darkened slightly and he lowered his lips to mine.

At first I thought I was dying. As soon as our lips touched my whole body ignited. It felt as if I was being brought back to life. Never knowing I had died. I couldn't think straight all I knew was that this was exactly what I had been waiting for my entire life.

He increased the pressure infinitesimally and my knees began to go weak. I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep myself upright. My tongue darted out of my mouth of its own accord to taste his sweet lips. Citrus and honey. I never knew anything as incredible as this. He parted his mouth slightly and I felt his tongue collide with mine. It was warmer than his lips, but just as soft. My lips began to quiver. I crushed my body to his. I needed more, I had to have more. The feel of my naked breasts pressed against his cold chest, even though his shirt was enough to make my muscles contract.

And then he was gone. The cold I felt from his absence was a hundred times more shocking than that of his skin. I refused to open my eyes for fear of seeing an empty room. I couldn't bare it. Then I heard his deep breathing.

"My sweet, sweet Bella. I am so sorry. I had no right to attack you in that way. It was extremely ungentlemanly of me, and I am truly remorseful." He began backing up towards my window with his hands raised in front of him, as if to prevent an attack.

"Please." I begged pitifully. "Please don't go." I looked up to meet his eyes once more, hoping to see some sort of dissolvent in his resolve to leave. What I saw shook me to my core.

Edwards's teeth were bared and he had crouched as if he were about to pounce on his pray. Before I could further contemplate his actions, he did just that. He leapt through the air so quickly, so gracefully I almost missed the movement entirely. One minute I was watching his strange behavior, the next I was pinned beneath him on my bed, Curled into his chest like a small child.

His gripped loosened and I felt him tracing small circles on the small of my back as he rolled us onto our sides.

"Bella, I must tell you something . . . I don't believe you will forgive me for this deception, so I feel I must tell you now. Before you do anything you might regret. "He sighed deeply and rested his head upon mine.

"My sweet Bella. I have been lucky enough to learn some things about you over the past eleven days, and I am truly grateful for that opportunity. You have given me a great gift, one that you may never fully understand. So in gratitude for your kindness, I am going to share with you the truth, a secret that will surely sending you fleeing from my arms. But one I feel it is only fair to tell." He gripped me slightly tighter, and then rested his mouth near my ear before he spoke his next words.

"I am not a normal man Bella. A man is not even the right word for what I am. I was once a man, a mere boy really. But tonight Bella, here with you, I am and forever will be, a Vampire." His arms loosened there grasp, and I could feel him pulling away from me. I was too frozen to move, but I knew I didn't want him to leave me.

"I know Edward. It's ok." I could hear the words coming out of my mouth, but I couldn't understand why. I knew them to be true. I had known he was something different, something amazing. I had planned to ask with my next question. But a Vampire, I never would have even thought. A god maybe. But a blood sucking demon, my Edward?

"Excuse me?" I could feel him relax slightly back into me, but his arms became stiff, rigid around me. His hands stopped there ministrations on my lower back.

"I admit, I didn't know what you were, but I knew there was something special about you. " I tilted my head so I could look up into his eyes. I wanted to know what I should be feeling at this moment. I was so confused.

"Are you here to eat me? Am I to be a source of sustenance for you?" He laughed bitterly, a beautiful throaty sound. Not unlike his growl. It made my thighs tighten, and a need start to build between my legs.

"You already sustain me dear Bella. And it is not your blood that I am drawn too. Although it is quite fragrant. It is your mind and your essence that has lured me to you from the moment I first laid eyes on you." He smiled down at me, and my heart melted. I had never seen anything so beautiful until this moment.

"What do you mean by my mind? You haven't spoken to me until now, and you asked me questions first." I was intrigued by this beautiful boy, vampire, in my bed. I needed to know why he was really here.

"I guess I wasn't entirely honest with you. I am a Vampire, and I have no intention of eating you." He chuckled quietly to himself and his smile grew wider. "I do however have another secret. When I became what I am, I discovered that I had the ability to read minds, of both humans and Vampires alike. I have never encountered a mind I could not read. Until I saw you. Your mind is completely silent to me. And the more time I spend close to you. The more the noise, the pain ceases to matter. I can focus all of my attention on you. The thoughts become a numb buzzing sound. It's an amazing thing." He looked into my eyes, searching I'm sure for my response.

"So you're here to numb your eternity of pain." I felt remorse for this beautiful god like boy. Whatever I could do to repay him for his honesty, and the gift of his presence.

"No no, Bella you misunderstand me. I'm here because you're important to me. You are the most important person to me ever." He leaned down slowly, as if he was worried to frighten me off, and pressed his lips to mine for the second time tonight.

This kiss was deeper, more passionate. It was as if he was trying to meld our mouths together, so we could never be separated again. I was on the same page. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled myself as close to him as possible. This time when he didn't disappear from my grasp I used the opportunity to even the odds. I slid my hands under his shirt slowly, tracing the lines in his abdomen. I felt him shutter under my touch and was spurred on by his reaction. I lifted his shirt over his head breaking the kiss momentarily. When I tried to find his lips again he had already began placing soft kisses down my jaw, onto my neck, Working his way across my collar bones and back up the other side.

"We shouldn't be doing this." He mumbled between kisses. Showing no signs of stopping, or even slowing down.

"Please." I pleaded between kisses. "Please don't stop!" He rolled us over so he was on top of me. I open my legs and wrapped them around his waist. I immediately felt his member pressing into my hot center. My entire body shivered with anticipation. I had never felt anything remotely like this. I couldn't believe I was about to make love to a vampire.

"God Bella…We have to stop. You need to stop moving like that…Oh god!" I wasn't sure what he was referring too, I was so caught up in the moment I couldn't tell you if it was me pressing my center into his, or vice versa. I just knew I couldn't stop.

He began placing open mouthed kisses down my chest, across my collar bone again, until he reached my breast. I gasped in ecstasy as his cold mouth met my hot flesh. I gripped his hair and held his head in place as he pleasured me with his mouth. I wasn't getting enough friction between my legs and I knew what I needed. I reached down his back and around the front of his pants. I started to undo his button when his hand shot out to stop me.

"No, please. Don't you want me?" I know I sounded like I was begging. But I didn't care. I've never wanted anything more in my life.

"Bella please. Don't be ridiculous. Obviously I want you. But you can't want this. You barely know me." He was breathing heavily, and he never stopped peppering my chest with opened mouthed kisses. I wondered if he was trying to persuade himself as well. "You just found out I'm a vampire. You can't want this with me. It's not the same as it is with normal boys. I'd never be able to leave you Bella. You would become my everything. My soul mate." He began kissing me more deeply. I was temporarily side tracked, but I needed to answer him.

"I wouldn't know, you would be my first. Please I want you to be the one. Please make love to me…"I was barely able to finish my sentence as his lips crashed down upon mine. I reached between us again and finished what I had started. Once I had opened his fly, I began to push down on his jeans, but before I could get very far, Edward had sat up, and torn the rest of his clothing off. He hadn't been wearing any underwear so I was greeted with the full perfection of his nudity. He barely hesitated before he reached down and tore the sweats from my legs.

I lay before him bare and slightly nervous, but too intoxicated by his presence to doubt my need. He lowered himself on top of me, resting his member lower between legs so we could be eye level. He kissed me softly. Running the tip of his tongue slowly across my lips. Teasing me. He grazed him hands up and down my sides, down my abdomen and finally coming to a stop in my inner thigh.

"I want to taste you." He whispered in my ear, causing my whole body to shudder violently against him. He kissed me deeply forcing his tongue into my mouth as his fingers climbed higher towards my center. I was dripping wet. I could feel it as his finger slowly glided up my folds. His cold touch against my hot center sent a wave of euphoria through my entire body. I had never been touched like this before not even by my own hands. I had no idea what to expect.

He continued to glide his fingers up and down, coating them in my juices. Until finally he parted my lips, and slowly inserted one of his fingers inside of me. An explosion of ecstasy erupted from between my legs. I thought I was going to melt into him. The feeling only seemed to intensify and then radiate throughout my body as he began pumping the finger slowly in and out of me. After a few more strokes he began inserting another finger, continuing the tortuously slow pumping motion. I thought I was going to slowly quiver to death, until he brushed his thumb against my bundle of nerves and an explosion ten times that of the first radiated outwards from where he was touching me. Causing my muscles to seize and clench around his fingers.

As I came down from my unearthly high, my eyes fluttered open just in time to see him place his fingers coated in my juices into his mouth and suck them clean. The image was surprisingly arousing. I gathered my strength and reached down between us to grasp his erection. He inhaled sharply and a low growl rumbled out of his chest.

"God Bella, you will be the death of me." He started peppering my cheeks and lips with kisses as I started to pump his erection in my enclosed fist. I had no idea what I was doing. But I had overheard enough conversations and seen enough suggested gestures to hopefully understand the basics.

I thought I was doing alright, until Edward almost violently removed himself from my hand and rolled us over so that I was in top of him.

"I'm sorry. I . . . I wasn't sure." Edward interrupted me before I could finish my thought.

"Bella no. You have no idea how amazing that felt. I wasn't going to last must longer. You're amazing." He ran his fingers through my hair, and was holding me close to his chest with his other hand.

I raised my head to meet his eyes. He looked blissful; I couldn't resist placing my lips against his. The movement caused me to press into his erection. We both moaned from the sensations of the contact. I sat up on his lap, questioning him with my eyes.

"Bella are you sure this is what you want love. You would have to lead. It wouldn't be safe for you otherwise." He looked pained to say this. I knew what my answer was, and decided that actions spoke louder than words.

Before he could stop me, or try talking me out of it. I positioned myself above his erection and thrust downward.

The sensation was incredible. There was a slight shooting pain at first. But the cool temperature of his erection and the incredible feeling of him inside of me quickly eradicated it. Edward groaned loudly and gripped on to my hips like a life line. I began rocking my hips against his. He began meeting my motions, thrust for thrust. Every time I thought I was about to come undone he would grip my hips tighter and slow down are movements savoring the sensation. I felt myself begin to unravel, Edward sat up and kissed me with all the love I never knew I could feel as he throbbed and pulsed inside of me, causing me to convulse and orgasm around him.

My entire being was altered. I felt as If I had given up a small piece of myself, and it had been replaced by a piece of Edward.

Edward rocked us and rubbed soothing circles on my back until we both came down from our ecstasy induced highs. I slumped against him and realized how tired I really was. I felt Edward lay us down on our sides, our hands intertwined between us. I wanted so badly to say something to him. But I could already feel myself drifting farther away into unconsciousness.

"I love you Bella Swan. You are my life now, and forever." The last thing I remember is Edwards's cold hands grasped tightly in my own.


	3. Morning After

Chapter 3

EPOV

I stayed with my Bella, watching her sleep until the early hours of the morning. When I heard her father return home at six am, I quickly dressed her and tucked her back into her blankets. I hid in the closet as Charlie peeked in on his daughter to make sure she was ok, if he only knew. Nothing will ever harm his daughter again. I wouldn't allow it.

After I was sure that Charlie was asleep, I crawled back into bed with Bella. Not really sure where to go from here. Not only am I naked, having torn my jeans last night. But even if I weren't, I couldn't leave Bella now. At one point during the night I had attempted to leave, only for a moment to retrieve some new clothing. But as soon as I made it to the window a sharp pain ripped through my chest causing me to collapse. It felt like I was drowning . . . I can only assume, I can't remember what it was like to suffocate as human.

I dragged myself back in to bed with Bella, and the pain immediately resided. I considered calling Alice to bring me some clothes. But then I decided I'd rather fuel my sibling's hatred towards me by adding sex with a human to my list of 'unfavorable qualities'. I breathed in deeply feeling temporarily defeated and began to swirl a piece of Bella's hair around my finger.

After a moment I heard a lite taping on Bella's window. I could hear her thoughts before she arrived but I was in no way interested in attempting to approach the window again.

Alice let herself in and set a pile of my clothing down on the rocking chair in the corner. She stood by the chair clearly waiting for me to acknowledge her presence. Her thoughts started to drift back to our last encounter; I had to stop her there.

"Thank you for the clothes Alice. I don't want to know how you entered my home. But please do not think this is any kind of open invitation. You're welcome to leave anytime." I made eye contact just for effect. I could hear from her thoughts that she was concerned about my full intentions with Bella.

"Edward…" 'I know what you're feeling, but this isn't right. You have no idea what you've done to her. She is mortal. She can't handle the mating process like we can. I hope you know what you have to do now.' She gave me one last look before she left out the way she came.

I'd done plenty of research to know exactly what I've gotten myself, and my dearest Bella into. It wasn't intentional, but it's completely manageable. Bella and I are seniors, if she returns my love, we can move into my home together, and I will take care of her. No matter what life she wants from me. And if not, I'll go to the Volturi, and when I am no longer in existence Bella will be free.

As I was contemplating my wildly irrational future I noticed Bella was beginning to stir within my arms. I decided to get up and quickly dress myself before she gained complete lucidity. I crawled back into bed with her, and placed my head on the pillow before her. Her eyes fluttered open, and I couldn't resist planting a kiss on her perfect lips as they turned up at the corners.

"You're real. I thought I just had the most incredible dream. But here you are." Bella mumbled sweetly in my ear. I started to feel the pressure of what I'd taken from her. The true consequences of which she had yet to feel.

"Good morning love. Of course I am real. I'm afraid however that we have over slept, and school starts in twenty minutes. So whatever existential conversation you were hoping to have this morning about whether or not I am a real boy is going to have to wait." I smiled at her sweetly, and laughed as my words began to sink in. She scrambled out of bed, and immediately noticed my change of clothes.

"You left?" She looked more confused than upset.

"No darling, my clothes were brought to me by a sibling of mine. I'll explain at a later time. Get ready." She still looked confused but grabbed her toiletries and ran to the bathroom.

She returned and proceeded to grab her clothing out of her closet. She hesitated while removing her clothing and I realized that she was probably expecting me to give her some sort of privacy.

"How rude of me, I'm sorry Bella, allow me to turn around." I wondered if I were to try to leave the room, I would face a similar reaction to when I approached the window last night.

I hesitated fearing for Bella. I wasn't positive what might happen to her now that she was awake.

"Bella, may I go and prepare you a quick breakfast?" I needed to have an idea of what may happen before we got to school.

"Thank you that would be great. There are pop tarts in the cupboard above the sink." She seemed anxious to get some distance between us. So I sped as fast I could out of her bedroom not wanting her to witness a potential incident. I was pleasantly surprised that I made it to the kitchen. I was concerned about whether or not Bella was feeling any discomfort. But I listened and heard no change in her heartbeat.

I produced the disgusting smelling pastries from the cabinet Bella had designated and placed them on a plate. It was moments like these I felt bad for not making more of an effort to accommodate humans like my family did. Esme often holds dinner parties for Carlisle's co-workers. I never understood why, until now.

Bella came bounding down the stairs and met me in the kitchen. She looked down at the plate I had placed in front of her on the table, and tried to stifle her giggle.

"I ugh…wasn't sure how to prepare them." I ran my fingers through my already unruly hair. I had never felt so inadequate and it was only breakfast.

"They're perfect, My usual morning routine." She smiled at me sweetly from under her lashes, and I swear that I felt a stirring in my chest where my heart used to be.

"Well then, on to school shall we?" Bella led us to the front door, and shut the door behind her. I starting walking towards her truck, but stopped when I realized I didn't hear her footfalls behind me. I turned to see Bella seemingly frozen on her front porch.

"Are you going to ride to school with me today?" She seemed to be suppressing a smile as she asked this. I wasn't able to contain my own smile at her hesitation.

"How else were you expecting me to get there today? We only have about seven minutes before first bell." That got Bella moving again, and quicker than I would have liked. I didn't even have time to open her door for her.

We drove in a comfortable silence entire way to school. I was still nervous about separated from her for most of the day. But I hadn't felt that painful feeling in my chest since earlier this morning. Bella parked near the end of the lot. This time I rushed out of the car to open her door for her. She blushed as she looked up and met my eyes.

I needed to say something; I needed to tell her that she was special to me, that she was my everything now. But the parking lot of Fork's high seemed like an inappropriate venue for such a declaration.

"Bella can I see you again tonight?" We had already started walking towards campus Bella halted on the grassy knolls by the picnic tables, but didn't turn to face me.

"Aren't you seeing me right now?" She finally turned to face me. But I couldn't read her expression. I slowly stepped closer to her, not wanting to frighten her.

"Bella if you do not wish to see me…" I wasn't sure how to complete my sentence. I didn't want to lie to her. There was no way I could stay away from her now.

"No, Of course not. I guess I just wasn't expecting that from you." The first bell sounded then, and Bella jumped. She smiled at me sweetly and turned to head towards her homeroom class. I watched her go in astonishment. The pain in my chest evolved into something different the moment she turned away from. At first I feared it was returning. But instead it turned into a low tugging sensation, not unlike the hunger I hear humans referring to, but not in my abdomen, my whole body felt like it was be tugged towards the direction Bella had disappeared in. I had to fight for the first time in 100 years to get my body to move in the correct direction.

Today was going to be a long day.


	4. Please Don't Go

Chapter 4

BPOV

After the first bell sounded I felt slightly relieved to have some space between Edward and I. I have a hard time thinking clearly when he's around, and I needed time to comprehend what exactly happened last night. Had I really made love to a vampire? I don't think I like that word. Edward is just Edward to me…last night it was Bella and Edward, not Bella and a vampire.

My thoughts were full of questions about Edwards's existence and flashes from our late night activities for the rest of the morning. I hadn't even realized it was almost lunch period until I overheard my fellow class mates discussing the appalling menu. I started placing my things into my backpack, and found a small piece of folded paper in the front pocket of my backpack.

It was from Edward. It had to be. I opened it slowly. I was nervous, how much had changed? What more could he possibly want to know from me? I read the words cautiously. And then I re read them, again, and again. It was almost like I could hear his voice as I read the words.

You are my life now, the very reason for my existence.

-Edward

I couldn't possible believe that this beautiful boy cares for me as deeply as I do for him. I know that I love Edward. I've known I was in love with him from the moment I realized he had been in my room watching over me while I slept.

But Edward couldn't possible feel the same way about me. Maybe he was just feeling protective of me, because I'm so fragile in comparison. This was too much for me to take in right now. I'm a normal boring seventeen year girl.

The bell rang, and everyone exited the classroom to head to the cafeteria. I found myself temporarily paralyzed at the thought of seeing Edward at lunch. Would he want to sit with me? Would he try to hold my hand or touch me? I was suddenly very excited to get to the cafeteria.

I made my way through the halls feeling a little apprehensive, but overall intrigued by the new dynamics of Edward and I's relationship. I entered the double doors and tried not to seem eager as I allowed my eyes to roam the cafeteria, seeking out Edwards's unruly bronze hair. I made through the lunch line before I spotted him on the far end of the cafeteria eating alone at his usual table. I paused not sure what to do from here.

Edward finally looked at up in my direction, I started to smile, but the look in his eyes stopped me. He barely glanced my way, and he looked completely indifferent. He went back to staring at the tray of food in front of him with a bored expression, never giving me a second glance. I don't know how I long I stood there in shock, Most likely to long. My dear friend Angela was kind enough to notice I was stuck in a funk and shook me out of my revere.

I mumbled and thank you and sank into my usual seat at our usual table. I tried to stay involved in the conversations, and focus on exactly what people were saying in order to keep my mind of the vampire sitting behind me. Every now and again I will feel a chill run up my spine and I wondered if maybe he was looking in my direction. But I would quickly brush it off as paranoia.

By the time the lunch bell rang I was relieved not to have to focus so deeply on the people around me, to be able to sink back into my own thoughts and confusions. I made my way to biology in a haze. In fact, my last two periods were a complete haze. I couldn't tell you what we did in gym. I don't even remember dressing out. By the time I seemed to gain some cognitive awareness of my location, I was already standing on the edge of the grassy knoll near the parking lot.

I shook the spider webs out of my head, and made my way across the parking lot to where my truck was located. I noticed along the way that most of the parking lot was already empty, except for a shiny silver Volvo parked right next to my truck. I decided to provide it with the same courtesy as he did me in the cafeteria. I climbed into the cab of my truck without glancing into the interior of his car. I made it out of the parking lot before I started to hyperventilate. I didn't realize the tears falling down my face until my vision became to blurry for me to see the road. I pulled over off to the side and wiped the back of my sleeves across my eyes.

I pulled myself together enough to make it home, and decided before I let myself out of my truck that I need to consider this objectively before I became so irrational again.

I made Charlie's dinner and finished my homework downstairs. I choose to make Charlie stir fry because I knew it would keep me busy and I would be able to think while completing each task. The sound of Charlie's cruiser pulled me out of another Edward daze I had slipped into while adding the sauce to the stir fry. Somehow I had convinced myself it was the same honey warm color as his eyes. I shook out my head for the second time that day, and went to the hall to greet Charlie.

"Hey Bell's I'm home….Whoa." Charlie yelled as he opened the door, clearly not expecting me to be standing in the hall. He had his hand clutched over his chest, and a big smile on his face.

"Welcome home dad. Sorry I frightened you. Just wanted to let you know dinner is ready." I returned his smile wondering if it looked as lopsided as I felt, and turned to go back into the kitchen.

We ate in a comfortable silence, and after we had finished Charlie grabbed a beer from the fridge and meandered into the living room to watch whatever game was on tonight. I did the dishes, slowly and deliberately to stall the inevitable flood of emotions that I knew I would feel once I stepped into my empty vampire- less bedroom. I started to feel the desperation bubble over. I quickly dried the dishes and ran upstairs to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face and attempt to pull myself together.

I looked up into the mirror and screamed a muffled scream into the white hand covering my mouth, which was subsequently, attached to the vampire whose reflection shown clearly behind mine in the mirror. I was able to stop screaming as soon we made eye contact. I wasn't sure what frightened me more, that he was here, smothering me? Or how incredibly euphoric I felt at seeing him here in my bathroom, touching me. I slowly started to feel myself slip away and wondered if this is what it feels like to be in love.

EPOV

I knew as soon as Bella saw me in the mirror that I had frightened her. I quickly covered her mouth with my hand to silence her scream, and wrapped my other arm around her waist to comfort her. She finally made eye contact with, and seemed to calm down. I started to remove the hand from her mouth, when she collapsed into my arms. It took me a moment to realize that she had fainted.

I listened carefully down stairs to make sure that Charlie was still comfortably seated in front the television. Then I rushed Bella into her bedroom and laid her down gently. I pulled the blankets up around her laid beside her on her bed. I was nervous about frightening her again If I startled her awake. So instead of trying to wake her, I passed the time by running my fingers through her hair, and planting whispers of kisses down her face, and along her jaw line. I skimmed my nose along her jaw, and then down her neck, coming to stop at her pulse point where I planted a firm but sensuous kiss, deeply inhaling her bouquet.

It was then that Bella began to stir. She spoke my name, and began to push the blankets off of her. I sat up slightly to look into her eyes as she woke up. But they never opened. Instead Bella began drawing small circles on her abdomen and making a strange labored noise.

"Edward…MMmmmm. Please…." For the love of all that is holy, Bella was touching herself and moaning my name. I flew across the room, and began pacing at the end of her bed. I had promised myself this afternoon after watching Bella through the eyes of our fellow class mates that we were going to talk tonight. That I was going to keep my hands to myself. Because she deserved to know the truth, and make an educated decision before we got in any deeper. See seemed so disconnected today, and during our lunch period she looked terrified, almost like she was remembering for the first time what I am, and what she thought of me.

Bella began rubbing her thighs together and arching her back while whimpering my name. I had to reach down and grip the base of her bed frame to hold myself in place.

"Please wake up Bella, I can't…." I couldn't do this to her again. I turned towards the window and just considering leaving, until I heard Bella's breathing pick up behind me.

"Edward…Don't leave." Bella's plea was barely above a whisper, but more than strong enough to drag me back into bed with her.

"I wouldn't dream of it love." I smiled crookedly at her, and placed a gentle kiss against her temple. She sighed and leaned her shoulder into me.

"I was having the most wonderful dream…until you started to disappear. Edward…" Bella sat up and turned towards me to look me in the eye.

"Edward, I need you to know something. Love, my day was filled with images of our love. Making. Our Love making. And I realized that this is exactly the emotion I harbor towards you. Love. I know that you don't feel the same way. I could see the look on your face when I entered the cafeteria this afternoon. Before you tell me that you made some horrible mistake, or that we should never see each other again I just want one more memory. One more instant that I can look back on fondly, to keep me afloat after you're gone." Bella took a deep breath and tilted her head to the right; she looked at me with tears brimming in her eyes and said "Please make love to one more time Edward. Let me feel you're love for me, one last time before you push me away."

I had intended to argue with her the moment after she opened her mouth. But her last words struck me somewhere deep, and I didn't know if I could deny her this. Even though it would kill me inside to leave her, I did have every intention of convincing her to rethink my existence and make the right decision. I nodded at her slowly and leaned in to place my lips firmly against hers.


	5. Decisions vs Visions

Chapter 5

EPOV

I haven't spoken to her in weeks. I smell her everywhere. I can feel her everywhere. But I haven't spoken to her in weeks. I hear her voice through the minds of others, and I see her faint blush as she walks past things that MUST remind her of me. But what kills me worse than not speaking to her is not seeing her eyes. Her head is always down. Her hood is always up, and when I have my moments of weakness and slip into her room at night, she's sleeping. Her eyes are closed to me. Her heart and soul are closed to me.

The day after I said goodbye I wrote her a note and placed it in her backpack as I used to do. Hoping that despite my betrayal she would still allow me a window into her life. Later that day as she passed me on her lunch period I retrieved the note only to find it blank, not only had she not replied, but she had erased my words. Fear struck me. Overwhelming, devastating fear. I knew what it meant, without looking into her eyes or hearing her say the words, I knew what this meant. She was making me disappear. Everything, it's as if it never happened. As if I didn't exist.

I was determined not to give up on her, so every day I would write her beautiful love letters to explain my distress, and personal longing. I would tell her how alone I felt without her. How dreary and miserable life has become. She never responded, never looked up as I walked past her in the halls. I knew she could sense me. I could her heart flutter, and her breaths quicken, she was so stubborn, yet so beautiful.

I needed to blow off some steam now that another school week with no contact had ended, so I decided to run home from school today, not wanting to feel human for even a second. As I got closer to my cottage in the woods I crossed a familiar sent and immediately stopped in my tracks. I had no interest in speaking with him today, so I continued my journey at a much slower pace hoping he would give up and go home.

As I rounded the back porch of my cabin I saw his smug, irritating smile.

"Well, well, well. You've done nicely for yourself out here Edward. Although I never would have pictured you for the hunters lodge type. Things have clearly changed. "He smirked as he placed the ancient looking rifle back on the hooks behind the porch swing.

"What are you doing here Jasper? I told you all that you are not welcome on my land. I meant it. "I had to refrain from hitting him as long as possible.

"Give it a rest Eddie, you'd never hurt any of us. Especially not Alice. Which means you can't hurt me." His smirk grew wider. My fist twitched involuntarily which then caused him to laugh. "Come Edward. Let's talk."

I followed him into my cabin and sat opposite from him in the small living room. Thinking of ways to make him pay for calling me Eddie.

"I know why you're here Jasper you really didn't need to come. There's nothing you can say." I looked out the large window and estimating the time, I couldn't wait for sunset so I could be with my Bella again.

"Don't be so rude, you have no idea why I'm here. Alice is the one with the visions." I interrupted him there, getting tired of his small talk.

"Have I been gone so long that you've already forgotten I can read your mind? You're worried about Alice, she misses me. She sees me alone and it breaks her heart. Esme often looks lost, and stands at the bottom of the stairs that lead to my old room for hours. Is there anything else, maybe something about Carlisle you'd like to fabricate?" I leaned forward in my chair running my fingers through my hair, I hated seeing them, I hated remembering, I'd always remember. I didn't need fresh reminders every time I opened my eyes.

"It's you that can't seem to remember Edward. We all lived with you long enough to know how to keep certain thoughts our own. I'm tired of your pettiness I'm not here for you, or even Alice. I'm here for your Bella." My lips curled back over my teeth, and a feral snarl escaped my lips before I could process what was happening.

"Calm down Edward, I'm here to protect her. Or rather give you the information you need to protect her. According to Alice Bella is extremely torn. She is constantly changing her mind about you, and what she is going to do. It's giving Alice quite the migraine. Alice said she is starting to narrow down her choices, some of which I prefer more than others. She has thought many a times about slapping you in the cafeteria and demanding you stop stalking her, that's my personal favorite. However Alice is more concerned with the vision she has of Bella walking alone in the woods at twilight, and then shortly after disappearing." My voice was caught in my throat. She has been thinking about me constantly, she couldn't forget me, she couldn't let me go.

I was so caught up in my delusions, and euphoria that it took me quite a bit longer to comprehend what Jasper had just told me. I felt like I was in a fog. All I wanted to think about was Bella. Wanting me, needing me, loving me. But Jaspers words pierced these happy thoughts with a dark and sinister force.

"What are you saying? That Bella goes wondering in the woods at night and gets lost?" That didn't sound like something Bella would do.

"No. What I'm saying is that Bella saw you leave school today. Soon she will make up her mind to come look for you, and in Alice's vision shortly after twilight Bella's entire future is lost. She sees's nothing." Jasper actually looked incredibly remorseful for someone on the outside looking in.

"Where she is? WHERE'S BELLA?" I ran for the door planning to high tail it to the swan residence, I needed to make sure she was safe, I needed to see her ALIVE. Before I could make it off the porch Jasper grabbed a hold of me.

"She's home Edward she's safe. Alice is there now. She wanted to look over her while I discussed this with you. She would have come herself, but …well I'll let Alice explain that. She says it's not going to happen tonight. She just knows it's soon. She wants you to be prepared." He patted my shoulder reassuringly and started backing off the porch.

"Tell Alice..." Jasper interrupted me with a sarcastic smile. "Tell her yourself." And with that he was gone.

I ran as fast as I could to the Swan Residence, crossing freeways, and back streets, not bothering to take the more cautious routes. I could hear Alice humming to herself as I approached the property. She was standing in the tree line behind the house.

"Alice…Is it true?" I needed to hear it from her. I needed to know everything.

She smiled at me sadly, and took my hand into hers. I would have shaken her off, but I needed her too badly at this moment. "She's fine Edward, she cried herself to sleep about twenty minutes ago. I'm sorry to interfere like this, but I had to do something." She lowered her head and released my hand to bring them both up to her temples. "I know you've asked me not to interfere but I can't help what I see, and Bella has been in my visions for a long time. I started seeing more long term images. Things I don't, or didn't expect to happen for a long time. But after you activities a few weeks ago, I started seeing visions of her distress. But I couldn't pin point time lines, or actually actions. I only knew she was going to do something when the day would finally come and I'd she her pass." Alice closed her eyes, and began to hum to herself again.

"What are you humming? I've never heard that before. "My thoughts were so muddled I needed to step back and begin to think clearly.

"I'm not sure what it is, I keep hearing it in my visions of Bella. She needs you Edward, more than you know." She looked up at Bella's house longingly, which only succeeded in confusing me further.

"Alice I can't. She doesn't belong in our world. I want her, but I can't bring her into this. Isn't there some other way? I need to know." She smiled at me kindly and began walking around to the front of Bella's home.

"All I know Edward is that she is confused, and scared, and something is going to happen soon. Something is going to take away her future. You need to help her. I need you to help her." Alice sprinted across the street off into the forest leaving me with no answers and about a million questions.

BPOV

The weeks had been long and treacherous. But I knew I had to protect my heart. I love Edward. I know that. But I also know that no matter how many beautiful love letter and sonnets a vampire writes, if he can't even look at me or speak to me, there's something holding him back. He doesn't love me. I walked through school today feeling like a Zombie. I it would be hard, and I knew it would hurt, but I never expected to feel empty. To feel … less human. Which is ironic considering the man I love isn't human at all. I made Charlie dinner when I got home, and went straight up to my room like I've been doing for three weeks now. I somehow made it through all of my homework and a shower before I felt cognitive again.

My sheets still smell like him. Every night when I lay down I get just a few moments of bliss. Before the demolishing heart wrenching depression kicks in again. Tonight was no different. Except that tonight as I lay in bed crying, clutching my hands to my chest, willing my heart to keep beating, I made up my mind. I decided that enough is enough. Edward will have my heart one way or another. Either in life, or death.


	6. One Way or Another

BPOV

It was well past midnight when I finally decided that Charlie was out for the night, and it was safe to make my move. I had never even dreamed of sneaking out of my home in the middle of the night. But now that I know what lurks in the shadows the idea is thrilling me more than ever.

I knew my truck would be too loud to start, it would wake Charlie up instantly and seeing as how I am not strong enough to push it to the end of the street, all my brilliant planning left me with one conclusion. I'm going to have to walk if I want to find Edward tonight.

I locked the front door behind me and made way out to the street. I have no idea how many acres of woods surround this tiny town, but I knew my best bet would be to start from where I saw Edward enter them. So I turned right at the corner of our street heading straight for forks high school. The journey on foot was only a couple miles, but it felt like ages until I rounded into the forks high school parking lot. I made my way across the concrete toward the edge of the forest. I hesitated only momentarily, knowing one way or another I would end up with Edward tonight.

I don't know how long I'd been walking through the forest when I started to hear voices up ahead. I knew it wasn't Edward, but I couldn't exactly tell which direction the voices were coming from, and therefore how to avoid them.

I walked onward for at least a half an hour with the distinct feeling that I was being followed. I continued to hear the voices, but they never seemed to get any closer or farther away for that matter. As I was passing yet another moss covered lump of foliage, I heard a tree branch snap and something fell unceremoniously onto my head.

I stood dazed and frozen just long enough to hear two sets of feet gently crush the leaves behind me…

EPOV

I had been waiting outside of Bella's house for a couple of hours when a familiar scent blew by me in a sudden gust of wind. I knew who it was instantly and was sure I did not want to have this conversation tonight, here of all places. I listened carefully one last time to make sure all was quiet in the Swan house, and then ran towards the direction of my unwanted intruder. I could here his thoughts as soon as I made my way deeper into the forest.

I spoke just loud enough for him to hear, hoping to detour him from his present path.

"I'm not interested in your philosophy tonight Carlisle. I have had enough of both Alice, and Jasper to last me another decade without any of your company." I came to a halt a few feet from the tree he was leaning against.

"It's very nice to see you as well Edward. I dare say a decade is far too long, even for us." He smiled warmly at me and extended his hand.

"Can we make this quick, I have important matters to attend to."

"Is that what this Bella girl is to you? A matter that needs to be handled Edward? May I remind you that even though you have deemed yourself no longer a part of our family, our rules still apply to all the citizens of Forks. We will interfere if need be." An uncontrollable growl left my lips as images of Bella being taken to the Cullen manor and hidden from me, or taken by Alice and Jasper to a remote location to be protected from me flitted through his mind.

"You WILL not touch her!" I launched across the immeasurable distance between us and secured Carlisle to the ground beneath me. I was hyperventilating with fury, something I couldn't ever remember doing in this life.

"Edward…she. She can't be what you think she is. Son…" He was interrupted by another growl escaping my lips.

"Edward please. If she were, Alice would have seen it. Alice sees nothing but darkness. You must know what that means. Be rational." He removed himself from my grasp and disappeared into the direction of his home.

My breathing was still slightly labored, and I couldn't calm my racing thoughts long enough to analyze what was happening. Before I understood where I was going, my feet had carried me back to the Swan residence. I felt an instant relief to be closer to Bella again. But my relief was quickly tainted when I realized that there was only one heart beat coming from inside the house. I quickly ran towards the front of the house contemplating what I would possibly find inside Bella's room when her scent hit me hard and fresh coming from the side walk towards the street.

I immediately changed direction and as fast as my inhuman speed could carry me, I followed her scent through town, across the school parking lot and into the woods.

I hadn't gone far when I realized I was heading straight for my cabin. I couldn't understand how Bella could have possibly gotten this far on her own. There are no clear paths, or even an open trail suggesting the way. I preferred it this way. But as I leaped over another cluster of fallen trees their scents hit me.

It was a diversion. Carlisle had only come to pull me away, to distract me so Alice and Jasper would have their chance. So they could take her from me. To 'protect' her from me. As if I was the one she needed protecting from. I pushed my body to within a centimeter of its limits following Bella's trail all the way through the front door of my cabin.

What I found was not at all what I had been expecting.

BPOV

I turned around slowly to see two pairs of golden eyes staring back at me through the immense darkness.

"She is rather stunning isn't she Jazz? I can see why after all these years he was instantly sure of her." A whimsical voice reached my ears through the sound of the rustling leaves and branches above. It was oddly soothing instead of terrifying.

"I don't know Al, I prefer short spikey haired pixies myself." An elegant southern drawl responded and I immediately tensed up.

"Please, I seem to be lost. I was just looking for the home of a friend of mine." I knew I sounded weak and naïve. But if Charlie had taught me anything over the years, it was that bad people are going to hurt you if that's their intent no matter who you are or how you beg. You're better off being honest and standing your ground. And if you can, put up one hell of a fight.

I heard the ground being disturbed as one of the golden pairs of eyes made its way closer to me. A young woman came to halt in a ray of moon light a few feet on front of me, and gave me a timid smile.

"You _must _be Bella. My name is Alice, and this is my husband Jasper. We are old friends of Edwards. We had a feeling you'd be wandering alone in the woods tonight, so we decided to come give you a hand." She winked and reached her hand out behind her for the man whom she had just introduced as her husband.

A very handsome young man with sandy blonde hair, and a sarcastic smirk stepped out from the shadows and filled the void beside her.

"I think we've frightened her despite your very friendly introduction my dear." He laughed and all of a sudden my senses came flooding back, more heightened then I was prepared for.

I relaxed my face as I became aware that I had been staring at them with my eye brows half way up my forehead and my mouth in a tight line.

"You can take me to Edward?" I had meant to say something far more polite, but my brain seemed to be having trouble keeping up with the situation at hand.

"Yes. After all, what are friends for?" I decided to take that as a rhetorical question and stepped aside as to say, you take the lead then. But to my surprise the small, very pixie like indeed, vampire reached her arms out towards me and took two tentative steps in my direction.

I stayed perfectly still trying to discern what she could possibly mean by this gesture. She couldn't intend to hug me? She took another step towards me and then began to speak in a very calm subdued voice.

"Bella, the trail to Edwards Cabin is quite treacherous, and I'm afraid we are on a bit of a dead line. You see although you may appreciate our help getting you to Edwards's cabin safely. Edward may not feel the same way. It's pertinent that we get you there fast. This will be much quicker, and safer for you. I promise you will arrive at our destination safe and sound." She winked at me again as if sharing an inside joke with a close personal friend.

"_You _are going to carry _me_?" Again I hadn't meant to sound rude, but even knowing Edwards strength and being acutely aware that the petite women holding out her arms in front of me was indeed a vampire. The physics of the offer was not acceptable to my poor over stimulated mind.

She moved so quickly I hardly had time to suck in the air for the scream I so badly wanted to emit. But before I had the chance we were still again. It was as if for one brief second a great wind had lifted me up off of the forest floor and deposited me here in this little woman's arms. I blinked my eyes feverishly and realized that we were standing on the porch of a tiny house made of wood and stone. It was lovely, like a dream.

"I'm going to put you down now Bella. Do you think you can stand?" She loosened her grasp around me, and I realized I wasn't prepared to have control of my body again just yet. But I preferred solid ground to what means of travel we had just taken. So I nodded and got to my feet.

"Um…Thank you for your help. I am positive I would have never found this place if you hadn't helped me."

"So am I." Alice winked at me once more, and then disappeared into the night. It took me a full moment to notice the young man was still standing at the bottom steps of the porch. He was staring at me intently and seemed to be deliberating on whether or not he should speak.

"The door is unlocked. Just let yourself in. Edward will return home any minute." He paused for a moment but I knew that wasn't what he had wanted to say. "Don't let him fool you my dear. Alice, my wife, has many talents. Even greater then Edwards. She sees the future you want with him. But he will not give in to you easily. Beware" With that parting word, he too disappeared into the night.

I turned on the spot and decided there was no reason to wait outside in the cold if Edward really would be home any second. I opened the front door to his cabin and closed it behind me, making my way towards the kitchen, the only room with a light on, I began pacing instantly. I made myself look around; trying to take in my surroundings hoping it would give me an idea for my next move, or a solution for the predicament I'm in.

I noticed that the cabin was like an open loft. The living room I'd walked through to get to the kitchen was small and quaint with a large stone fire place and bookshelves lining the walls. There was a short hallway with a door at the end that I assumed let to the bedroom, and beautiful art work on the walls along the way. The kitchen I stood pacing in was no more than a kitchenette really. A small wood burning stove, an old refrigerator and solid wood table with two chairs.

It was exactly the kind of place I pictured Edward living in. The colors of the wall were a warm moss or sage that blended beautifully with the natural wood floors and furniture. The couch was a beautiful shade of gold I'd never seen in a fabric before. Soft almost molten, but looked more made of suede than of leather.

I started admiring the vintage feel of the entirety of his space when I noticed black white photographs in an album lying open near the bottom of his book shelf. How long had he lived here? How long had he been alone?

I realized I was seconds away from being out of time, and had yet to come up with any solution when something silver caught the corner of my eye. Among a stack of envelopes thrown precariously across the kitchen table was an intricate looking envelope slicer. It had a beautiful carved handle and felt heavy in the palm of my hand. It looked sharp, and lethal.

I gripped the handle tightly in my grasp and pressed the sharp end of the blade along my neck down towards my collar bone. I felt the sharp sting as the metal broke the skin and the warm trickle of blood as it began to run down my neck. As I was about to bring the blade down onto my wrist the front door of the cabin burst open.

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><p><strong>Hey everyone,<strong>

** It's me, the author. I usually don't have anything to share, but I just wanted to thank all of you wonderful readers who have added this story to your favorites and reminder lists. I know I am inconsistent with my posts, but I hope to get the rest of the sorry out in due time. I really hope you enjoy my new chapter. And always enjoy feedback. I'm working on another story right now as well first chapter should be out before the end of the weekend. So keep an eye out. :)**

** 3 Bri**


	7. Choices to Last Forever

Choices to Last Forever

EPOV

As an immortal I never thought I would again feel certain emotions. Fear being the most likely. What is there to fear when you cannot die?

As I saw Bella bleeding before me, I knew that I had never felt true fear until this moment. She had no answers, no idea of what it would mean to lose her life. In death or transformation. Yet here she stands bleeding for me…

"Bella…What have you done?" I started to approach her slowly, devastatingly aware of the cursed weapon still in her grasp.

"If you don't want me in this life, or even in yours, then end mine now. Save me from a broken heart." She was starting to lose a lot of blood, I watched as she wavered and brought her hand out to catch herself on the counter.

"Bella please, I need to get you to a hospital, you don't know what you are asking. It pains me more than you know to be separated from you, but I can't wish this existence for you." I approached her slowly and lowered her into my lap as I rested us on the kitchen floor.

I should have never been so immature. To make love to a mortal and disregard her need for the truth, for some semblance of understanding to my world and our needs. I deserve to burn in hell for the pain and confusion I've cause this innocent girl.

"Edward…" She took in a shaky breath. "Please, just tell me. Why?" As she looked deep into my soul I knew what she was asking and why I had found her bleeding in my kitchen.

"I wasn't lying to you when I said you are my existence now. There is no removing the impression you've left on my soul. Vampires mate for eternity. And you are my mate. The night we made love I was bound to you forever. But because you are mortal the process was not complete. I wanted to believe that you felt it to, but I realized it was unfair of me to make this decision for you. If I were to change you after our love making, you would have been bound to me as I am to you for all of eternity. But as a mortal I felt you wouldn't have been sure of your convictions, and once awoken to this new life you would resent me as your mate and attempt to leave me. You don't know pain until you have tried to separate yourself from your other half. I couldn't live with myself if I sentenced you to an eternity of hatred and pain. Please forgive me." I sighed and started to lift Bella off the floor knowing that it was too late and I need to get to Carlisle if I was going to have any chance of saving her life.

"Did you…" She struggled to speak as she lifted herself up to eye level. "Did you ever stop for a moment to think that we were made for one another? That the universe wouldn't have allowed you to find a mate that wouldn't love you as irrevocably and unconditionally as you love them?"

I starred deep into her brown orbs torn as to whether or not she was lucid enough to be speaking the truth.

"Edward I love you. It may have seemed irrational and immature to fall into bed with a vampire I hardly knew. But something deep inside told me I knew what I needed to know. I know what is inside your heart. I could feel it then and I can feel it know. I feel at peace with you in a way I didn't know was possible. You bring me euphoria and comfort, love and excitement all at once. My heart can barely contain the emotions that run ramped within in me when you are near. Please don't doubt my love for you. Never doubt my love." I could feel the corners of my lifeless eyes stinging as I took in her words.

I assumed all along because I couldn't read her mind that there was no way she could possibly love me the way I loved her. Holding her in my arms now I realized that she was incredible, and right. We were made for one another. She was the missing half of my soul. My reason for existing. I knew what I had to do.

"Bella I need to make you mine, but your father, your family and friends. You won't be safe for some time. You won't be able to see them. In fact the two of us will be unable to separate from one another from some time. You have a choice. I can bring you to Carlisle now. He's an amazing Doctor, he can save your life, and I vow to you that I will make you mine forever when you are ready…Or." I took in a deep breath trying to steady my overwhelming emotions.

"Edward please." She whispered so quietly I began to worry she would soon become unconscious.

"Please Bella, tell me what you want. I can save you or I can make you mine now, Whatever you want is yours. I can't deny you any longer my love." I held my breath as I waited for her response.

"Please Edward Change me. Make me yours forever. I can't bear to leave your side again. You have already claimed my heart and body and soul, make me like you." And with that my love slipped into unconsciousness.

I carried her into my bedroom and placed her gently on my bed. I whispered my love to her into her ear and placed gentle kisses across her face neck and chest. I lowered my mouth to her pulse point and sunk my teeth into her delicate flesh.

I bit her again and again and again. Her neck her wrists her chest her ankles.

I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering; I wanted to make her transition as quick as possible.

I lay myself beside her unmoving form and listened to the subtle troubled rhythm of her heart; awaiting the moment my love would open her eyes and return to me.

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><p>BPOV<p>

I could feel myself slipping away, but I wasn't afraid. Edward was with me. I could feel him all around me, inside of me in a way I didn't know was possible. It was as if my entire being was being drawn inward because that where Edward exists for me. Within my heart, in the deepest crevices of my soul.

I knew the instant I wasn't just falling asleep, that Edward had indeed decided to change me. I felt warmth pass through me, starting at my toes my lips my hands working its way inward to the very core of me. It wasn't painful but it was so overwhelming my body could barely comprehend the different sensations bubbling up within me as it grew hotter and hotter.

Time was like a never-ending worm hole. One moment I was sure I had been immobile and silent for what felt like hours, maybe days, then the next it was as if I could recollect every second of sensory disconnect. It wasn't until I was sure I could hear something very tiny crawling along a dripping water pipe on the outside of the cabin that I was sure reality had returned to me.

I took in a deep breath, and relished in the new senses that flooded my mind. I was fearful to open my eyes until I felt Edwards hand gripping my finger tightly from beside the bed.

"Bella honey, Open your eyes. I'm here."

I took another liberating breath before opening my eyes to my new existence.

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><p><strong>Hey guys, Sorry it's been such a ridiculously long time since I posted anything, but life threw me some curve balls and I couldn't leave reality long enough to enter this magical universe, or any but realities for that matter. <strong>

**I wanted to give you guys a temporary conclusion until I can get back into the swing of things. I guess I'm saying this is the end of this story for now. I've got big plans to write a lot right now and my brain can't really keep up with my thought process. This was my first fanfiction and it was a great learning experiance and I had a lot of fun. I can't wait to get back into the grove of things and hopfully entertain. **

**Thanks for your support and understanding, **

**Bri**


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